ISBN: 979-8-9877197-9-4
Trade paperback
Publication date: May 6, 2025
Spanning a century and two continents, The Boat Not Taken: A North Korean Mother and Her Daughter is a deeply moving memoir tracing the journey of Joanna Choi, who fled war-torn North Korea with her mother, a fiercely independent young widow, in search of the American dream. But unbeknownst to Joanna, their journey was also one away from a long-buried family secret.
Told in brief, gem-like chapters, this lyrical and often humorous memoir follows an observant young girl determined to excel, even as the shadows of history shape her family’s fate. From Korea’s brutal colonization by Japan to the devastating 1950–54 civil war, Joanna’s story reveals the lasting impact of a divided nation—one that reverberates through generations.
At its heart, The Boat Not Taken is a love letter to an extraordinary woman: a daughter of rural Korean gentry, a mother both fiercely devoted and heartbreakingly deceptive. When Joanna uncovers a shocking truth about her Omai long after her passing, she is forced to confront everything she thought she knew about her past.
Advanced praise
“You think you know what this memoir is about and where it’s going. Through a nine-year-old Korean girl’s eyes, you will witness her escape from North Korea in the wake of World War II with her indomitable mother, a single woman who’s lost her husband to the chaos of it all, and alone, together, the two will make their way across a war-torn landscape. Ah, but the story’s just begun. There’s many a twist and turn as you ride along with Joanna Choi Kalbus: crossing the Pacific, growing up in a shack in Los Angeles, being the only Korean at a Catholic girls’ school playing Irish folk songs on a harp. By turns poignant, tense, and laugh-out-loud funny, this memoir dips down into the family secrets and up into the mysteries of culture and history to end at the graveside of a mother you won’t soon forget.”
—Tamim Ansary, author of West of Kabul, East of New York
“Poignant and compelling, The Boat Not Taken weaves together the story of Joanna Choi Kalbus, who flees North Korea as a child and eventually arrives in America with her Omai (mother). Their everyday struggles assimilating into a new culture and language are buoyed only by the unbreakable bond between them, a bond later tested with the discovery of her Omai’s long-held secret. A captivating read that illuminates the powerful and resilient love between a mother and daughter.”
— Gail Tsukiyama, author of The Samurai's Garden and The Brightest Star
“A mother-daughter journey filled with joy and anguish. A little girl holding her mother’s hand is an image I see through all the leaving, horrors of war, and the longing to know the truth of her ancestry. Rich in suspense, history, and family conflict, this memoir is ultimately a story of love and forgiveness.”
—Louise Nayer, author of Burned: A Memoir, an Oprah Great Read
“Tough-minded, tender, harrowing, and (yes!) humorous, The Boat Not Taken is a tale of determination and family love. From a village in North Korea in the early 1940s to present-day San Francisco, this gorgeous human journey will resonate deeply, regardless of the reader’s cultural background. I love this book.”
—Caroline Goodwin, author of Trapline and Old Snow, White Sun
The Boat Not Taken: A Memoir
Joanna Choi Kalbus was born in North Korea. She made two critical migrations—escaping to South Korea after the Communist takeover, then immigrating to the United States as a ten-year-old during the Korean War. She received her PhD in Educational Administration from the University of California, Riverside, and has worked as a teacher, principal, and regional superintendent. She is a writer, harpist, and annual participant in the Bay to Breakers Footrace. She lives in Moraga, CA.